YojimboMonkey makes the daily news easier to swallow.

Nobody tries to rape Kanzune. Nobody.

I'd really like to write a joke about MrPazzah putting on this laser condom and fucking the Death Star exhaust port, but I suppose that would just seem crude.

Kanzune likes to drop grandma down the stairs a lot.

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  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

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