He fucked four of your best friends, his coworker, and a neighbour: DO YOU REKINDLE THE FLAME? -Cosmo— cass (@casskeeley) January 28, 2013
yo mamas titties just won a sag award— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 28, 2013
My greatest fear is dying in a car crash whilst on my iPhone checking the operating hours of my local Carl's Jr.— Sean Brewster (@TheSeanBrewster) January 27, 2013
*picks up modern dildo w/ too many bells and whistles, shakes head* they just don't make em how they used to.— Jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) January 27, 2013
It doesn't matter if you're socially unreliable, so long as you have cigarettes, a sexy raspy voice & an undiagnosed personality disorder— Ｃｈｉｍ ｎｅｙ (@WarmCigarette) January 27, 2013
futuresex/lovesounds had like 1 good song on it and everyone reveres it. if you like that album so much check out Music By Black People— cal50 (@cal50) January 27, 2013
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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