He fucked four of your best friends, his coworker, and a neighbour: DO YOU REKINDLE THE FLAME? -Cosmo— cass (@casskeeley) January 28, 2013
yo mamas titties just won a sag award— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 28, 2013
My greatest fear is dying in a car crash whilst on my iPhone checking the operating hours of my local Carl's Jr.— Sean Brewster (@TheSeanBrewster) January 27, 2013
*picks up modern dildo w/ too many bells and whistles, shakes head* they just don't make em how they used to.— Jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) January 27, 2013
It doesn't matter if you're socially unreliable, so long as you have cigarettes, a sexy raspy voice & an undiagnosed personality disorder— Ｃｈｉｍ ｎｅｙ (@WarmCigarette) January 27, 2013
futuresex/lovesounds had like 1 good song on it and everyone reveres it. if you like that album so much check out Music By Black People— cal50 (@cal50) January 27, 2013
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
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