He fucked four of your best friends, his coworker, and a neighbour: DO YOU REKINDLE THE FLAME? -Cosmo— cass (@casskeeley) January 28, 2013
yo mamas titties just won a sag award— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 28, 2013
My greatest fear is dying in a car crash whilst on my iPhone checking the operating hours of my local Carl's Jr.— Sean Brewster (@TheSeanBrewster) January 27, 2013
*picks up modern dildo w/ too many bells and whistles, shakes head* they just don't make em how they used to.— Jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) January 27, 2013
It doesn't matter if you're socially unreliable, so long as you have cigarettes, a sexy raspy voice & an undiagnosed personality disorder— Ｃｈｉｍ ｎｅｙ (@WarmCigarette) January 27, 2013
futuresex/lovesounds had like 1 good song on it and everyone reveres it. if you like that album so much check out Music By Black People— cal50 (@cal50) January 27, 2013
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!