He fucked four of your best friends, his coworker, and a neighbour: DO YOU REKINDLE THE FLAME? -Cosmo— cass (@casskeeley) January 28, 2013
yo mamas titties just won a sag award— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 28, 2013
My greatest fear is dying in a car crash whilst on my iPhone checking the operating hours of my local Carl's Jr.— Sean Brewster (@TheSeanBrewster) January 27, 2013
*picks up modern dildo w/ too many bells and whistles, shakes head* they just don't make em how they used to.— Jennifer (@FourEyedQueef) January 27, 2013
It doesn't matter if you're socially unreliable, so long as you have cigarettes, a sexy raspy voice & an undiagnosed personality disorder— Ｃｈｉｍ ｎｅｙ (@WarmCigarette) January 27, 2013
futuresex/lovesounds had like 1 good song on it and everyone reveres it. if you like that album so much check out Music By Black People— cal50 (@cal50) January 27, 2013
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!