new low. catfished 4 times in 48 hrs by HikerEmily7, 2 "Rihannas" and the lost dolphin(dream psycomm) Not paranoia if they're out to get you— GraeyDave (@graeyalien) January 26, 2013
my favorite drink is an amanda palmer, it's an arnold palmer except its free if you hug the bartender— Jay Satellite (@satellitehigh) January 26, 2013
the doors are bad and I'm only sad that Jim Morrison died because idiot fucks idolize him for it— Rachel Milpool (@rachelmillman) January 26, 2013
*me doing sick drift in a subaru around a corner* I prefer pizza to hamburgers— johnasavoia (@johnasavoia) January 25, 2013
HP Lovecraft's greatest achievement is making sure every idiot says/posts "Cthulhu!" whenever an exotic sea creature picture gets posted.— Josh (@Livestock) January 25, 2013
Always crazy impressed when someone drives their loud car fast when they should be going slow.— jon(@senderblock23) January 25, 2013
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!