Remember how a bunch of ska bands had a guy onstage that just danced?We should all still be pretty fucking pissed off about that.— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 27, 2013
I'll never be a Cover Girl because Cover Girls don't sweat when they eat— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 27, 2013
The good news about Adam Levine hosting SNL is that Adam Levine isn’t the musical guest— Andy Levy (@andylevy) January 26, 2013
I keep a pair of earplugs in my nightstand in case I ever hook up with a pro tennis player.— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) January 26, 2013
people overthink porn names. why not Good Sexman. why not Perfect Fucker. why not Hole Genius— BRASNON (@bransonbranson) January 26, 2013
Good luck getting someone from New Orleans to shut up about New Orleans— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) January 26, 2013
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!