thank you to whoever put the video entitled "dog eating a dildo" on my youtube playlist— Matt (@Cheesegod69) January 24, 2013
wow, Barbie girl in Barbie world? talk about your damn privilege— naterz (@rushoffailure) January 24, 2013
the smirk store called. heh.— vrunt (@vrunt) January 24, 2013
“Fuck it.” - Inventor of the breakfast burrito— Steven Amiri (@StevenAmiri) January 23, 2013
why do you always have nicer earrings than me mexican babies— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) January 22, 2013
I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month on eBay.— Future Ex-Wife (@Faptually) January 22, 2013
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!