It will be great on the day after Election Day that we can all get back to tweeting about our kids and exaggerated working conditions.— Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) October 18, 2012
My sister is my parents favorite cause she’s pregnant with twins and I’m the least favorite cause I spend my money on chicken stars.— Tracy Marquez (@tracy_marq) October 22, 2012
"Soft Launch" is an industry term for "excuse to get drunk and DJ tonight."— Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) October 19, 2012
How many times a day do you have to urinate to officially earn the title "Human Pee Machine Who Pees Like It's His/Her Freaking CAREER"? 14?— Joe Randazzo (@Randazzoj) October 11, 2012
Neither candidate addressed the fact that we have a Hulk— Andy Levy (@andylevy) October 23, 2012
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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