Just tell her you're homeless.

Once my protein shake came out my nose and I got it all over my bowflex.

I disagree on the grounds that you're 15 years old and posting on a bodybuilding forum.

Sometimes I'll go to the front window and flex my washboard abs and rock hard pecs and cars start piling up like it's The Blues Brothers.

mASF has a lot of unexplainable holes in the drywall around his house.

The best way to get people to think you're Alpha is to pretend to talk to Zordon.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.