Try this:

Put one eyebrow up.

Mouth open.

Upper lip goes up and to the left.

That's it. That's the face I made throughout most of this Weekend Web.


Deviant Desires

This might be the forum for you if you get your jollies by making your dick into a candle.

I'd probably just prod people with my stump arm until they get creeped out.

It's called "GAY RAPE" and it means you're going to jail.

Normally I find mashed potatoes to be the most erotic dish, but whatever floats your weirdo boat.

Oh, baby. Digestion, that is hot!

Boyfriend gets turned on by killing stuff, NO DANGER HERE.

Hello, police?

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.