There are a lot of advice sites on the Internet. eNotAlone isn't the worst. It isn't the most disgusting, stupid, or crazy. But it does have the stupidest name. No, you're not alone. There is a whole world of estrangers out there waiting to give you advice. If you can't cum, can't score, or can't fit in, the Internet is the place to go.
I wonder what made her think at 14, "You know, my pussy's a little loose. I need to tighten it up." Who told her that was even an issue at 14? "But mom my pussy is tight enough!" "You do your kegels young lady or no supper for you!"
I think you're just pissing yourself, dude.
They should make this into a sitcom. The theme song could go, "She's 17, he's 44! He's a creepy fuck and she's a jailbait whore!"
This one should be a sitcom too but have a different song. Imagine what that song might be like in your head. I don't get enough to rhyme.
My advice is to stop writing bad poetry and get a job. Then come back and write bad poetry about how hard your job is.
I used to roleplay with my ex. I played the Winchel's "time to make the doughnuts" guy and she played an obese woman who couldn't get enough doughnuts. Well, she sort of just played herself. But hey, I don't ask questions, I just pick a fold and fuck it.
I pick my nose until it bleeds. Is that like cutting?
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
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