If you are unable to bear children then do I have the forum for you! Get yourself ten cats and a forum account at Purrs In Our Hearts Cat Forum to make all of your dreams come true. There you will find a gaggle of lonely women to post about your cats with and display pictures of precious fluffy coughing up a furball. How cute!

It's good to see that cat owners who declaw their pets care that much.


If the cat doesn't want to eat the food that's put in front of it then it starves. My cat used to play that game and now it's dead. That's what he gets for trying to call my bluff.


Cats are stupid animals who don't know how to look both ways before crossing the street!


It means you are OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.


My cat smells like a cat.


Yes, that petition will surely make them rethink their position on eating dogs.


A whole industry is being supported by lonely cat ladies.


Good guess! Kidney problems are only one of the most common cat diseases, especially in older cats. Good job scamming this vulnerable women out of her social security check. At least you did your homework.


I want to thank PissFilledCumBubble, Gnack, Red_Mage, drscience, Mellomeh, Factor_VIII, Beef Tube, ryborg, DCAnderson, Lord Gold, Secks, Trellio, Snuffle Whupkins, Hawkstein, and Defenestration. Yeah, they're great.

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.