"lol" now stands for "what I just said, that was a lie"

Men like it when you punch their balls rapidly like one of those little punching bags.

Get married.

It would hurt your wallet if she takes the $400 and leaves halfway through.

You should get started finding good beggin' spots and alleyways to sleep in.

It would be sagitory if she was about 70.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.