I think I'd rather have AIDS than everything else that's wrong with you.
You can only lose your virginity by having vaginal intercourse, so all you Christians looking to get lucky can just go through the backdoor and still get into the frontdoor of Heaven.
Get a better job!
Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, he said scrotum.
Special thanks to perplexing whimsy, big duck equals goose, Snowcow, Peezy, DemanusFlint, Virion and ryborg.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.