I think I'd rather have AIDS than everything else that's wrong with you.
You can only lose your virginity by having vaginal intercourse, so all you Christians looking to get lucky can just go through the backdoor and still get into the frontdoor of Heaven.
Get a better job!
Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, he said scrotum.
Special thanks to perplexing whimsy, big duck equals goose, Snowcow, Peezy, DemanusFlint, Virion and ryborg.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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