ANAL HEMORRHOID SEX. THANKS INTERNET.
Women don't like anal sex, you homos. Don't let porn convince you otherwise.
Your husband is completely out of line, urging you to see a doctor like that. Ugh, what an unsupportive monster.
When it comes to whores, you get what you pay for.
Thanks for the first aid kit, mom. I mean, I really wanted a Wii but this is just as fun. No I'm not disappointed!
Considering every time you cum inside of a chick it's like putting your sperm through Operation Overlord where your sperm are brave American soldiers and her pussy acids are like Nazis, the risk of pregnancy after cumming on your hand and then finger banging your retarded girlfriend is very low.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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