I know this is a troll but I want to believe...
You sure know how to pick 'em, cowboy.
That doesn't sound too bad. It could be like a scavenger hunt every time he tries to have sex.
I'm lazy so insert a Robin Williams reference here.
Beat him. Hard.
I think it could lead to a lack of blood flow to the brain and you'll end up making stupid posts like this on the Internet.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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