Sorry to say this but you only have six weeks to live.
Congrats! Your first STD!
All of them.
Yes, that's why they explode.
TUPAC'S MOM SPOTTED
She totally diagnosed herself.
Girl, you have no idea.
Special thanks to untriedanduntested, Housemaster, Sensible_Psycho, Stutes, FruMoogle, Kauka, Seven Five Nine, most erotic flower, vlad3217, HulkaMatt, Bag of Glass, big mean giraffe, Khad, Karma Sutra, Hawkstein, King Bowflexious, YouPube, Posture_Pal, big duck equals goose, Meitnerium, and szud who truly are the wind beneath my wings. They create drag that helps me fly!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.