Truly, a day those first graders will never forget.
If you prick me, do I not... scream racial epithets at the top of my lungs?
Make me some dinner, woman! I'm busy reading this hilarious chapter on Chuck Norris!
Feelings... conflicting inside... MUST... CONSULT... COMPUTER RACISTS...
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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