"Winx" was some cartoon for little girls that was filled with magic and dragons and shit. Since this is that same old Internet we know and hate, its forum is infected with creepy 20-somethings as well as the dense teenagers we'd come to expect.
Let's follow the story of "Masked_Bishop," an enormous, sweaty, naked blob of a man knee deep in fast food wrappers, chatting away with about 7 IM windows open to underage girls and taking short breaks to fondle his partially-erect penis. At least that's what I get from his posts.
It's hard for him to keep relationships when he's not allowed within 500 feet of the elementary school.
No, you fool!
What kind of nerd spends his days posting on a pink forum? A really big one, that's what!
Will the pain and sadness ever end?!
He moves on like a cancer. Some new kind of cancer that can double as a registered sex offender.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.