Staying true to Something Awful's home state after last week's look at Westport Coffee House, we journey to the Missouri boonies for a stay at ArdPark Cabins. ArdPark lists 40 activities and attractions, most of which are located 15-40 miles away and have no connection to the facilities. "But hey," ArdPark advises visitors, "there are some bowling alleys down the road, and we've never checked them out, and we don't much care for bowling, but it's a thing to do, I guess." Also, there's Geocaching, which refers not to the caching of this Geocities-style site but instead to "an ultra-modern seek-and-find game"! Regardless, everything you click -- every activity, every obscure policy -- opens a new tab, except the text that says "click here" at the bottom of pages; that does nothing. But it's worth sifting through the hundreds of open tabs just to find a charming assortment of goofy old GIFs, some of which I'll showcase below:
Oh, and in case you were thinking of booking your next vacation at ArdPark Cabins, you should probably wait a while.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.