Mossmask.com, submitted by shyguy. As if the deranged Oakland Raiders fans weren't scary enough, Randy Moss has parted the skies and delivered unto us mere mortals the most frightening thing you could possibly put on your face short of fire:
You know last year I tried to get my teammates fired up with my "time-to-go-to-war" 'fro. Lots of fans made comments and asked when I would wear it again. So I thought of an easy way to get "the look" with my new MOSSMASK!
Be sure to check out my new website also therealrandymoss.com - soon you'll see my own line of clothing, my own ringtones and wallpapers, exclusive interviews on something I call MOSS TV and lots more features.
The season's almost here. I can't wait to get started and I'll be watching for all you good-looking Moss fans in and around the stadiums.
One more time for those of you playing along at home:
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
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