Childhood obesity is a bad thing. OK, Gymanimals, we can agree on that. But childhood ignorance is a bad thing, too, so with no shortage of "get healthy, kids!" messengers available, parents probably shouldn't settle for this site:
In case you assumed The Gymanimals © wrote "o-bee-sity" like that just because they spell everything the stupid way, let me introduce you to "the supreme fat lord of the universe," O-Bee-Sity. While the ridiculous name suggests a fat anthropomorphic bee, this "villian" is instead some sort of snowman-shaped blob of stomach bile.
In addition to rampant grammatical errors and disgustingly ugly characters, this site confronts you with a loud, looping clip from "Whip My Hair." (I guess hair-whipping burns some calories, but, again, kids could do better.) You can silence it by clicking "Stop Sounds," but it comes back after like 15 seconds. Fair warning; now here's the link.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
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