If your claim to fame is singing the national anthem at Florida Marlins games for 15 consecutive years, you'll probably have difficulty converting that exposure into pop stardom, unless you started that streak billed as "The Incredible Singing Baby." But nobody tells Margo Joy what she can't do, especially since she apparently trademarked the phrase "Never Lose Sight of Your Dreams." When she's not belting out "The Star-Spangled Banner" for the Marlins' 12 followers, Joy performs commissioned (?) jingles for the likes of Office Depot and Millennium Laser Eye Center, much to the delight of her MySpace friends Bubbles, Mr. Support Friend David, and Spiritual Medium and Teachertm.
Mr. Support Friend David can find plenty of company in the "Supporters" section of Joy's site, which isn't filled with the fans, mentors and benefactors one might expect, but instead with whatever athletes and celebrities she could lure into posed photos using her anthem-singer pull. Her stated goal is to "become a world renown recording artist," like listed influences "Darius Rutger" and "Cold Play." Until then, look for her to bring her "unique dynamic vocal quality" to the pre-event festivities at an Air Fair, middleweight boxing match or Israeli Independence Day concert near you!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.