I don't know how normal-kid textbooks address drugs, so help me out if this is some kind of textbook standard:

If you didn't know drugs were bad, take this famous drug expert's word for it:

This man is hiding his face because of drugs. I'm pretty sure his shirt says "beavers."

I also thought it was interesting how they blamed drugs for the crimes of the born-again serial killer, Velma Barfield.

Onkel Hedwig

Now this is just wrong!

(Velma Barfield was killed by lethal injection and not the electric chair.)


Live by the drugs, die by the drugs.

Thanks to AWarmBody for sharing her stories, and to the Goons for the questions and discussion!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful