Steve: Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess this is probably Cobain's chance. He is going to pop the tonfas and try to escape from Morton Downey's grasp.
Zack: He succeeds in escaping, but fails to disarm Morton Downey. "Kill them!" shouts the talk show host and the ghouls with Uzis start shooting.
Steve: Kurt and Left Eye are diving behind Station.
Zack: Station scoops up E and shields him and Cobain and Left Eye from the hail of bullets.
Steve: Kill him, Station!
Zack: Station pipes merrily on his flute and proceeds to bash the ghouls into bloody pulp. Morton Downey wisely does not bother trying to shoot Station and instead leaps out into the hallway and shouts for Secret Service to intervene.
Steve: After him! Can we ride Station like a horse?
Zack: Define "like a horse."
Steve: On his back.
Zack: He sort of elongates his body and yes, Left Eye and Cobain can ride on his back while he carries E in his tentacles.
Steve: Where is he going?
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.