Steve: Whoops. Sorry about that. I guess this is probably Cobain's chance. He is going to pop the tonfas and try to escape from Morton Downey's grasp.
Zack: He succeeds in escaping, but fails to disarm Morton Downey. "Kill them!" shouts the talk show host and the ghouls with Uzis start shooting.
Steve: Kurt and Left Eye are diving behind Station.
Zack: Station scoops up E and shields him and Cobain and Left Eye from the hail of bullets.
Steve: Kill him, Station!
Zack: Station pipes merrily on his flute and proceeds to bash the ghouls into bloody pulp. Morton Downey wisely does not bother trying to shoot Station and instead leaps out into the hallway and shouts for Secret Service to intervene.
Steve: After him! Can we ride Station like a horse?
Zack: Define "like a horse."
Steve: On his back.
Zack: He sort of elongates his body and yes, Left Eye and Cobain can ride on his back while he carries E in his tentacles.
Steve: Where is he going?
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.