Zack: Yo yo I am a vampire, homes.
Zack: I'm the only black vampire in this book / naturally they made me a rappin' crook.
Steve: I got a 5 in strength and my head is square, use dominate 2 and take you back to my lair
Zack: Blood in blood out in my body I mean / spendin blood like ducats (which I recall from the 13th century) to impress the queen
Steve: This rap seems sort of unwieldy.
Zack: Keep in mind we're white people writing a rap being sung by a black guy that is all white for a book written and edited and read entirely by white people for a game that only white people ever play.
Steve: I saw a black guy playing vampire once.
Zack: In person?Steve: No. It was a Gen Con photo website.
Zack: Probably just mislabeled the photo. I'm sure he was playing Star Fleet Battles like all true money hustlas.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
- AD&D 2nd Edition Spelljammer: Space Lairs
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Fiend Folio
- Dungeons & Dragons Module B3: "Palace of the Silver Princess" (Part 2)
- Dungeons & Dragons Module B3: "Palace of the Silver Princess" (Part 1)
