~Steve's Honorary Badass Choice Award~

"Cadaverous Gastropod"

By Chainclaw

Random Oni Table Rolls

General Body Shape
63 : 61-65 Lumpy blob like a snail.
Oni Head Shape
59 : 56-60 Fish-like; +2 horror factor.
Oni Nose
50 : 31-50 Large, wide, flat nose like that of an ape, two times larger than a
normal human.
Oni Eyes
67 : 61-70 Bird eyes the look like jade.
Oni Mouth
14 : 11-20 Human mouth and crooked teeth. 1D4 M.D. from bite.
Oni Arms & Hands
30 : 21-30 A pair of large, oversized, muscular arms (3D6 M.D.) and a third,
smaller arm with two clawed fingers and a thumb (2D6 M.D.; +1 attack
per melee round).
Oni Legs
51 : 51-60 Skeletal shaped legs with the classic two-toed, clawed feet. 6D6
speed attribute.
Other Features
18 : 15-21 Pair of small horns. 1D4 M.D. from head butts.
Skin Color
98 : 91-00 Mustard/Yellow Brown

Description: When the Cadaverous Gastropod is not at the gym, he likes to spend his time at the beach. This beefy Oni likes to show off his hot bod, and is constantly flexing for the chicks. He also enjoys a game of volleyball, and thanks to his third arm, he is able to play while still flexing. The Cadaverous Gastropod loves stealing girls from other beach dwellers, especially from barbarians.

The Verdict

Zack: I would like to note for the record that this is only included under protest after Steve insisted that "no, we got to include it, it has all the elements."

Steve: Is that even up for dispute? Look at those elements on display.

Zack: Steve, if you ran this contest by yourself the winner would have been the person who Photoshopped Conan onto a boob.

Steve: That's possible? There's technology for that?

Zack: The government has it on their supercomputers.

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