This ape is great at shaking his grass!

No need to apologize for monkeying around, the Aloha Gorilla is always up for a party! This deluxe adult costume includes: a latex character mask, a tropical flower pin, a colorful lei, fur shirt with attached coconut bra, and a grass skirt.

  • Available in One-Size Fits Most.
  • Jeans and Shoes are not included.
  • Don't let cabin fever get you down: Say ALOHA to summer with our luau-themed party supplies and costumes (sold separately).

Dr. Thorpenstein: This year, I'm dressed at whatever pieces they've got a surplus of at the costume factory.

Zackula: The Democrats are gonna be sooooo pissed. It doesn't even look like Michelle Obama.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Yeah, I mean, they're clearly going for the cheap Michelle Obama joke, but she's not even FROM Hawaii! That's Barack!

Dr. Thorpenstein: Do a little fucking research legwork for your racist joke costumes, people!

Zackula: The choice to wear jeans with this costume is just disrespectful. A grass skirt AND jeans? You go too far, Hawaiian gorilla bellydancer
Dr. Thorpenstein: Maybe that's the third random costume element to complete the trifecta of unrelatedness. Ape + hula + ...plumber?

Zackula: The one review for the costume is someone complaining it was missing some of the components. Seems like maybe less is more with this outfit. Maybe streamline it a little bit.

Dr. Thorpenstein: There's really no missing element that could make this a worse or less cohesive costume.

Dr. Thorpenstein: No mask? Hairy hula guy. No hair? Hula dancer with ape head. No bikini? Immodest hula ape. No skirt? Gorilla with jeans and coconut bra.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Are any of those really any dumber than hula gorilla?

Zackula: Just a guy wearing blue jeans is a better costume.

Zackula: You know what this really needs though?

Zackula: The Shocker.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Or maybe a sign that says "BEWARE!" and some blackface?

Zackula: Ooh that's good. And step in a couple of Christmas presents on your way out the door to the party.

Dr. Thorpenstein: And maybe some big potato eyes. And ditch the hula gorilla shit, because christmas blue jeans shocker blackface potato guy is a pretty great costume without all the weird random crap thrown on.

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About This Column

Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.

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