From: Larry
Subject: Who do you think is the best Quake 1/2/3 player ever?

Hey jeff, i was Just wondering, besides yourself, who do you think is the best Quake player ever? There are lots people saying fatality, Thresh, immortal, but I want the answer from the best source, a l33t hax0r. i kn0w j00 have j00r own p3rsp3ct1v3 on this.

in my MANEY years of compeating in Quaek finals (not QWuaek 1, that was for fagorts), I haev seen maney skilled playars die by my ricket luncher. Sometimes I play on "BLOODHOUSE HOUSE OF ROCKIN" which si oparated by my friend who has a cabal modam and lives in Ukrania. I get good pings there, sometimes even undar 1000! (BWT, "ping" means "data packeits yuo sends". 1000 means I sends 1000 data packits per second. This si becuase I use AOL and Getright. Getright sends bettar packets and AOL si not microsoft, so it si good). Here are teh best Quaek playars I haev seen:

Bob(he picked up plasasma gun and shots guy in ass at ONCE! it was skillfull and he didant kill him but he couldave. Bob fell into lava)
Jerry(not vary good anymore since he uses joystick. real good playars use keyboared. I have "A" bound to "flip off" and I push it evary time I get frags)
Kevin(he goes too my school. Jerry used too beat him up but then he hits Jerry in teh head with a nickal. Jerry cried and ran home)
Ken(knows where health pakcs are in a lots of maps. he used to be in marching band but he quit becuase practice was at same time as "SAILOR MOON PATROL" cartoon show)
Skid Visous(he fights Cherry Chasse and Otto Van PArts for racetrack winnar, GO GO GO!!!).

they are all vary good and we will all play on my PLAN partey. We are makeing an PLAN party it will be called "FRAG FEAST 99" and it will be vary cool. I will haev teh servar since my computar si a Packard Bell and has two serial ports (THAT MEANS TWO COMPUTARS CAN CONNECTS TOO ME). first prize in PLAN party will be pictares of Jerrys mom naked. She has horriabl scar on her butt and once cried when she heard "Blossom" was canceled..

From: Justin Ainsworth
Subject: You crack me up.

Seriously, learn to spell. Read a dictionary, or go to school. Your typos are enough reason to make me want to kill you. Are you mentally retarded? Do you try and bite your ears? I've never seen anyone as wack as you in my entire life. And don't you ever correct all the misspelled things on your site? That's seriously a problem, get it check out. And when you say your a "l33t hax0r", I think your bullshitting all these people. By the way, your art fucking sucks.

I HAEV READ DICTIONARY!!!!!! I looks up "JUSTIN AINSWORTH" in disctionarye and it says:


WELL, YUO LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVARY DAY DOINT YUO??? Mayeb yuo should go back too school and learns abouts being L33T liek ME!!!! I MEAN LOOK AT TEH THINGS I HAEV HAX0RED JUST TOODAY:

  • Ebay computer
  • printar
  • sock
  • cat
  • Bazooka
  • airplaine
  • Mom
  • table
  • my hands

but i didant haX0r for bad liek "I LOVE YUO" viruis. "I LOVE YUO" viruis was made in Cambodia by a crazey man who pulls heads off ducks. He sends me LOVE Viruses but I am smart and use EMALE FILLtERS! I makes emale filtar witch throws away any emale with words "I" or "LOVE" or "YUO" in it. it musts work vary good becuase its protected me vary good and I haev not gottan a singal emale since I installed it!!! ULTIMATE VIRUISE PROTECIAN!!!


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