Big deals were being made aboard the OneSoul Bus, where every soul is just a point on a spectrum with infinite gradients that mostly corresponded to topless, overweight white women with dreadlocks. Saudi firm Trident Investments snapped up Spoogr (pronounced like "booger"), a new video game console targeted at heiresses that will cost $699 and play the demo versions of Android phone games.
Spoogr is the brainchild of Vyktorea Rothschild, a computer program that procedurally designs baffling status symbols for twenty-something Silicon Valley new money. Vyktorea generated one of last year's hottest properties, SPLUkk, an app for tracking the patterns of homeless people using public information to create "beggar avoidance algorithms."
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
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