Haymaker: Our monster/seeker for today is of course Gryknarl the Handicapable, the Grim Creeper, Uruk-Hai Harry, the Burlap Menace, son of the late, great Supreme Bonelord Krang.
The Vein: He's coming off of a great performance in the semifinals where he managed to rip an entire Dutch clog dancing team's skulls out of their bodies with their spinal cords still attached, and he's got the belt to prove it.
Haymaker: Let's throw it over to the Monster Cam and see what we're looking at here, T.V.
The Vein: Ouch - with peepers like that he's certainly got his work cut out for him. He might be a huge skin-flaying monster and unstoppable killing machine when he's up-close & in the pocket, but as a seeker he's really gonna have to push himself to the limits to track down his prey.
Haymaker: Gryknarl has never been a monster to shy away from a challenge, Zane - he did a personal walk-through just before the match today with spotlights and torches just to make sure every nook and cranny of this wide open cave was well-lit and easily visible.
The Vein: Very sporting Hank, but he's still an odds-on favorite thanks to his signature ability to teleport through solid 80-foot thick walls of pure rock.
Haymaker: I'll tell you what, the way he telekinetically reconstructs all of the walls he accidentally smashes through Kool-Aid Man style really makes him popular with the groundskeeping crew.
The Vein: Indeed, Hank. Rumor has it that Mrs. Grim made him learn that trick after one too many fourth-quarter runs to the fridge for a cold beer ended with their kitchen covered in piles of smoking rubble.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
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