The Vein: Looks like Gryknarl is out of the gate, Hank, and he's not wasting any time going right into a full Ceiling Seagal -
The Vein: Ooh, beautiful form on that dangling gullet grab - he got all of that one Hank!
Haymaker: He sure did Vein. I think it's safe to say she won't be knitting anymore kitten sweaters any time soon.
The Vein: Quick reminder folks, today's Hide or Die world championships are brought to you by Spelunkadunk Donuts - Feed Your Hole.
Haymaker: And don't forget to try their new Cave Moss-flavored coffee: it's scaldelicious!
The Vein: Back to the action, it looks like our human team isn't bothered much by the loss of Helga and is pressing on to the Chain-Link Ladder Free Climb.
Haymaker: If there were a grade higher than A+ I'd be using it to describe that rope-feeding technique right there, T.V.
The Vein: Couldn't have said it better myself Hank. These are truly some of suburban hobby caving's finest.
Haymaker: Note the discipline: even though they're all just leisurely climbing down the conveniently placed and incredibly sturdy metal ladder anchored directly into the rock for liability reasons, it's important to keep up the routine and pretend at all times like you're rappelling off a sheer cliff into a hot combat zone or dangling over a jagged spike pit ala Mortal Kombat.
The Vein: Gryknarl doesn't look as impressed as you are, Hank, and it looks like -
The Vein: Yes-yes! He's spiked Helga's lifeless corpse and gone for a classic endzone dance! League fines be damned!
Haymaker: That's the kind of in-your-face poor sportsmanship that really livens up a six-hour ladder climbing sequence, Zane. Great technique by the master of monstering.
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
I saw good men turned to mush in the wars against the soggies. Men much better than you, Mr. President. If you are going to take John Brennan's security clearance, take my security clearance too.
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.