In the event of a malfunction, your D-7 MHDC will attempt an emergency shutdown to prevent its reactor from overloading. If emergency shutdown fails and reactor overload occurs, remove yourself from the premises as quickly and dramatically as possible and immediately inform the nearest D-7 disposal center of the event.
WARNING: REACTOR MELTDOWNS & EXPLOSIONS MAY NOT BE AS COOL AS THEY APPEAR
In rare circumstances, you may experience partial melting and/or exploding of your Delta 7's facial surface. This is an unfortunate byproduct of our cutting edge radon-based manufacturing process, and cannot be avoided.
(pictured: a potential Facial Melt-Splosion Calamity scenarios)
In the event of a Facial Melt-Splosion Calamity (FMSC), your Delta-7 unit may become mildly agitated. Remain calm and instruct your unit to power down in a firm but pleasant tone. Use appropriately exaggerated ultimatums as necessary.
If the malfunction continues, standard operating procedure is to blast the Delta-7 in what's left of its face with your Laser Luger(tm) (available from OmniHome Shopping, catalog number #910-LL-010, available in chrome or matte black finish.)
Unfortunately, no refund can be offered for unit losses due to manufacturing defects, acts of God, or weaponized airborne computer viruses. Please consult the EULA which you have genetically signed in perpetuity by reading this document, in which you have automatically waived all rights to refunds or legal recourse of any kind. OG-TCDC apologizes for any inconvenience.
When used correctly, we are confident that the Delta-7 Mutant Human Disposal Cyborg will not only become a wonderful and integral part of your daily productivity toolkit, but a beloved and valued member of your family as well.
On behalf of everyone here at OmniGlobo-TechnoCorpoDyne Conglomerate, we hope you enjoy your Delta-7. Happy Mutant Hunting!
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