A man opens a box labeled "best animes" and Freddy Krueger is screaming and laughing on the cover of all of the discs of One Piece.
A peppy college girl tries to download some mp3s using a Napster program, but this program is Fredster and it's actually Freddy. She starts to play a Metallica song and Freddy appears on the screen. "Sorry, the only nap you get to download is a dirt nap," he says referencing the company Napster.
Kids on spring break go to a cool bar and try to order some mixed drinks but the bartender doesn't know how to make anything because the bartender is FREDDY! "Wet t-shirt contest!" he says and stabs them.
A guy tries to find "Repeat Album" on his iPhone and instead finds "Repeat Freddy" who never stops laughing over every track.
Freddy is a pizza that wants a slice of some guy. You'd better believe Freddy gets it. A slice that is.
Freddy turns into a pair of sneakers and makes a guy slam dunk with slam being the important word in "slam dunk."
A girl wise to the Freddy dream attacks tries to stay awake, but she can't help it. She falls asleep and Freddy is waiting for her as a drum kit. There is no explanation for this but she is forced to play him until her arms fall off. "Drum roll!" he says and rolls over her crushing her.
A cool and sexy babe loads up Facebook to go to Zack's Facebook page but it's really Freddy's face and all of her friends are Freddy posting about politics.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
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