Although I'm not good with names, dates, or events, I love history like there is no tomorrow. You know who else loves history? The Something Awful Forum Goons. This week we showcase the second half of their recent inept love affair with historical images. More specifically, their love of breaking them. Join me now and looking at a lot of things that never really happened!

As you view these images, I want you to visualize (with your ears) the sound of hot dogs sizzling on the Deion Sanders' Hot Dog Express. It will make the whole thing that much more exciting.

Tapir and his penguins will do anything for a laugh. Frankly, it makes me sick.

anarchywrksbest has the ability to excrete gravy from his pours when in the vicinity of mashed potatoes.

General Ripper owned a taco stand, but sold it so he could focus all his talents on making this image.

doomman50's biggest fantasy involves a forklift and three tons of cake mix.

elister teaches crop rotation to primitive post-apocalyptic villages for extra experience points.

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