(In the field where a patch introduction is normally typed there is only a string of random characters, as if some sort of bird had flapped and pranced across the keyboard)
Untitled Goose Game
While writing an uncharacteristically insightful review here, something snuck up behind me and bumped my elbow which caused it to be deleted. 10/10
The Surge 2
Sure, I was as happy as anyone when the soda came back for a second run, but they didn't need to make a game about it. 7/10
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Let's go back to the announcement of Wind Waker and show all the angry dudes that in 2019 Link is canonically a cutie pie with cheeks we all want to pinch. 9/10
Star Wars: Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
Being able to play such a stone cold classic PC game on the Switch is fantastic, only slightly let down by the absence of g_SaberRealisticCombat. 8/10
The world is anime vampire, set to inane. 5/10
Contra: Rogue Corps
It's a Contra game where your gun overheats and you have to wait for it to cool down, which is a bit like a Mario game in which the controller sprays mace directly into your eyes and nose and genital hole. 2/10
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
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