The Jedi Hurtaholic Archive, submitted by Greg. This site scared the hell out of me when I first found it. The subject matter is disturbing enough but that's not what specifically frightened me; I'm used to this kind of horrible crap by now. No, the volume is what got me. There are well over a hundred stories on this site, many of them very long, all devoted to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan from "The Phantom Menace". Some of the stories are dull but definitely fucked up emotional tales - homoerotic love stories with a light bondage element - but the majority of them are violent and graphic depictions of hot Jedi on Jedi action. It's not just limited to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan either!
Gently, he pulled out of the other man, heart tearing as he heard the hiss of breath between Qui-Gon's clenched teeth at the unexpected withdrawal. Rolling onto his side, he took his lover with him, until they were chest to chest, Qui-Gon's head resting on his shoulder. Softly, he began to card a hand through the waterfall of silvering hair.
"Talk to me, Qui-Gon. Tell me what's going on."
There was silence, as Qui-Gon considered the question and collected his thoughts. He drew in a deep breath, unable to stop the shiver of doubt that coursed through him.
Mace's grip tightened, unwilling to allow the self-torture to continue. "Qui-Gon..."
"He lied to me."
Okay, let me get this straight. They're writing a combination porno and gay romance novel about Jedi from Star Wars? What motivates people to write crap like this? I would make fun of writing Battlestar Galactica bondage gay sex fiction, but I'm sure it's already being written...in huge quantities.
PS - If you're into Hurting Jedis then sign his guestbook!
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
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