Oh, puh-leez. I've fucked assholes deeper than you. Get off your breathy, shallow soapbox and shave that stupid fucking beard off, you goddamn queer. I'm serious - if all the atoms of hydrogen in the universe were converted into pixels and formed the biggest ever, it still wouldn't accurately convey what a self-obsessed tool you are.
"Hey you're wearing clothes! My question for the candidates is "what will you do to keep crazy people like Ian Crossland off the streets?""-animalmedicines
"Hi, Ian. Are you high? And when are you going to log into StickAM to masturbate for us? You must be huge."
"reagan is regretting from the grave that he had all the mental wards closed with ian loose."
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!