It dawned on me when I sat down to write this edition of AwfulVision: This is the 11th AwfulVision I'll have written. At the rate of two per month, this means that I'm entering my 6th month of writing and that I've devoted, like, half a year of my life to finding videos of furries ghost riding the whip and fat girls dancing to ICP music and then writing articles calling them gay. 6 months. Goddamn. The very thought chilled me to the bone, and I spent the next week drinking heavily until I lapsed into a coma for an indeterminate amount of time.
Thankfully, AwfulVision's patented Web 3.9 technology has a failsafe for this very situation, and when I arrived home from the hospital, an AwfulVision retrospective of the past 10 updates was waiting at my desk! Joy!
This update goes out to all of you who read AwfulVision week after week and support it by sending in new videos. Thanks a lot guys, and here's to 6 more months or 10 more articles or whatever comes first I guess! I know this is a comedy site and all and that I'm supposed to be funny (why start now?), but I just want to relate how incredibly appreciative I am that I get a chance to write for the best comedy website on the internet!
Okay, enough of me being a huge gaywad. Let's see what some of our AwfulVision favorites from the last 10 updates are up to!
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!