Submitted by David B.
~I'm the dweeb, the geek with future bleak, the dorkwad and the nerd
The gangly creep, the otaku freak, the lord of all that spergs.
Lacking all clues, in Wal-Mart shoes, disappointment to my parents,
the biggest boob on all Youtube and Chris Chan's heir apparent~
-Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey, a thing I seriously spent 10 minutes writing
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!