Submitted by Dan H.
Sir I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you a ticket for using MIDI music unironically, gratuitous overuse of a blue screen and stock footage, implied necrophilia, awful singing, and a having pretty rad mullet. Normally, I'd let you off with a warning, but I see you're a repeat offender. You are hereby sentenced to death.
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!