I was going to review this video, but accidentally left it playing while I went to take a huge dump. My girlfriend, however, watched it and had this to say about it:
"You left some video on while you were in there and it was some kid talking about how he gets Jeopardy questions right or something also I think the dog needs to go out. Can you hand me the dental floss, too?"
" you are a power nerd! to nerdy to be cool but still gets all the ladies! love your vid"
" Jeez, Phil! Haven't you ever heard of Asperger Syndrome??"
" I think you are a Geek like photo shop and shit, mabye you got some kind of damage to you'r head.... What ever :P cheer's."
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!