This man has bigger tits than every girl I've ever dated combined and for that matter a higher chance of heart disease and stroke.
On a serious note, look upon this and dread my friends, for this is how humanity will end. Not in the flash of an atomic bomb or decimated by some terrible disease but by becoming so fucking stupid, disgusting and fat that we eat ourselves to death live on the internet. For the lulz.
To the dolphins or elephants or whatever the fuck evolves to replace us, I offer this warning: do not follow in our fat, fleshy footsteps by inventing fast food; for that way, madness and diabetes lies.
"strokes, heart attacks, hepatitis, joint problems, diabetes, enjoy all of them you fat fuck.
damn you are pathetic and disgusting really i hate seeing people like you, when you could do some exercise and be healthier and happier"
"OMG, my eyes are burning ! PLEASE SOMEONE KILL THAT FAT PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I PUKE..."
"suprised he didnt eat the pickle off his tit.."
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!