It's been a while since Comedy Goldmine featured a Choose Your Own Adventure-style format, because a) this sort of thread is rare these days b) even when there's a successful one, they're often ungainly in length and/or lacking in visual appeal. However, Gaspy Conana has done a fine job of crafting Sierra-style art and manually limiting his thread's length, making "Alone in a Cave" a rare worthy CYOA showcase. The storyline remains in progress, so if you get hooked and want to follow along or make your own suggestions, you can do so on the SA Forums!

Gaspy Conana


Where did dad go?

Organic Robot

Eat the paper.


Jump into the fire.


Read the note!

Gaspy Conana



Cpt.Sean Luc Picard

Yell loudly and see how long the echo lasts.

Mr. Giggles

Freak the fuck out because your Dad isn't around

i brought sauce

Okay, now eat the note. You'll be getting nutritious fiber and also preventing "them" from reading it!


Might as well enjoy a nice warm dinner!

Gaspy Conana

Admiral Bosch

Leave the cave.

That Which Squeaks


More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.