Throw a hot coal at those eyes.
Say "Hello!" and politely wave.
Rub the packing peanuts together! It might scare the monster away!
EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!
Retreat with kidney beans into secret place, observe mysterious eyeballs from safety.
Put packing peanuts in fire.
Deeply inhale toxic smoke.
Do a song and dance number from a famous Broadway musical.
Befriend/seduce the creature.
Throw scalding beans into its face then bludgeon with empty pot until it stops moving
Put the pot on its head and see what it does
Fold the note into a paper hat and put it on the creatures head.
Roll the note into a tube, use it like a blowgun to shoot the packing peanuts at the beast.
Surveillance. See if it goes for the beans.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.