Gaspy Conana



Swillkitsch

Throw a hot coal at those eyes.

Icesler

Say "Hello!" and politely wave.

Glasgow Kiss

Rub the packing peanuts together! It might scare the monster away!

Schizotek

EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!

toby

Retreat with kidney beans into secret place, observe mysterious eyeballs from safety.

Cryptic Edge

Put packing peanuts in fire.

Deeply inhale toxic smoke.

Admiral Bosch

HIDE

Gaspy Conana

Admiral Bosch

CONTINUE HIDING

Jon Joe

Do a song and dance number from a famous Broadway musical.

Jack MacAskill

Befriend/seduce the creature.

WonkyEye

Throw scalding beans into its face then bludgeon with empty pot until it stops moving

Holy Calamity!

Put the pot on its head and see what it does

The Donut

Fold the note into a paper hat and put it on the creatures head.

Bold Robot

Roll the note into a tube, use it like a blowgun to shoot the packing peanuts at the beast.

toby

Surveillance. See if it goes for the beans.

Gaspy Conana

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.