Throw a hot coal at those eyes.
Say "Hello!" and politely wave.
Rub the packing peanuts together! It might scare the monster away!
EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!
Retreat with kidney beans into secret place, observe mysterious eyeballs from safety.
Put packing peanuts in fire.
Deeply inhale toxic smoke.
Do a song and dance number from a famous Broadway musical.
Befriend/seduce the creature.
Throw scalding beans into its face then bludgeon with empty pot until it stops moving
Put the pot on its head and see what it does
Fold the note into a paper hat and put it on the creatures head.
Roll the note into a tube, use it like a blowgun to shoot the packing peanuts at the beast.
Surveillance. See if it goes for the beans.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.