With all the noise google.com has been making over the past few years, you can't blame other sites for trying to ride the coattails of its meteoric rise. chacha.com allows you to search for anything you want, but unlike google, you can request the use of a live, human guide to help you in your search process.

Forums Goon Stoat Box saw the potential in making good use of such a selfless site, and so did the rest of the forums.

HOW TO MAKE THEM FUNNIES

1 go to chacha.com

2 type in something in the search box

3 hit search with guide

topic: two men racing each other through a cactus patch


Stoat Box posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: PaulaD

PaulaD: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: I'm looking for a picture of two men racing each other through a cactus patch.

PaulaD: Hi, How can I help?

You: I'm sure I saw the image on Google Image Search about three months ago

PaulaD: Okay, let me look

You: Although I may have just dreamed it as I've been taking a lot of sleeping pills lately

You: Incidentally what's the best thing to take sleeping pills with so far I've been taking them with a stiff whisky and a few hours reading in my smoking jacket.


Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!

Looking for guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: LillianV

LillianV: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

LillianV: Hello!

LillianV: How can I help you?

You: Hello

LillianV: Hi

You: I'm trying to find a picture of two men running through a cactus patch

You: One of them has a smile on his face

LillianV: That may be difficult, but let me try, hold on please

You: The other has a look of despair, like if a lover has left him or he missed an episode of smash hit comedy "Family Guy"

LillianV: I do apologize, but there are no images of anything like this

You: That's ok. Can I ask for another search?

LillianV: Certainly

You: Do you know if Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka beat Uwe "Raging" Boll in the boxing match they had a while ago?

LillianV: Let me search that for you

You: Please be quick my captors are getting angry

You: Can you also please search "Stoat Box" for me I'm trying to meet him to give him his third of the Triforce thanks.

LillianV: Can I find anything else for you?

You: "Stoat Box" I think he's a Russian snooker player.

LillianV: That's all I have on that

You: Oh, I found the picture I was looking for, turns out I drew it on my arm.

LillianV: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

You: Thanks anyway ChaCha.com you've brought the web closer together

LillianV: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.


Caffeine Wolf posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: MichaelM

MichaelM: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

MichaelM: Hello

You: hello I am looking for a variety of items and perhaps a shop that sells them all

You: in the states of texas if possible

MichaelM: Real funny.

You: pardon?

MichaelM: Thank you for using ChaCha!

Status: Session ended.


Whalley posted:

JasonK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: Hi there. I'm looking for some internet

You: Argh. Sorry, my chat box keeps cutting out

You: I'm looking for this internet

JasonK: There you go

JasonK: They have it on wikipedia

JasonK: Did you need anything else?

You: Um, there's this internet

JasonK: That's it right there

You: help me find someone to hold me through the night

JasonK: Sure

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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