Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DelaineL
DelaineL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
DelaineL: Good morning and how are you doing?
You: hi i need to know the name of a song i just heard
DelaineL: Any type of lyrics or singer you know to help me search?
You: i dont know the name or who sings it and i couldnt make out a lot of the words but it was very catchy
You: it was something pop-rock like, justin timberlake type stuff but i know it wasnt him
You: i think it wasnt him
You: maybe if i describe it though
DelaineL: I can send a site or two you may check out, if that would help.
DelaineL: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!
You: it started with a really high pitch whir then a bass loop that went "bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow; bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow
DelaineL: One moment.
You: then a background singer (female) started in with some oooohs and aahs type stuff
You: then the lead singer/rapper/whatever came in and started singing about a girl
You: and that he either owed her money or she owed him money
You: but they were in love so it didnt really matter
DelaineL: Sending you some sites for you to check out that may help you, one moment please.
You: are you finding anything or does that sound like a familiar song to you
DelaineL: Sent you a couple of sites.
DelaineL: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: i could tell by the way he was singing that he was black
You: you know what i mean?
You: he sounded black
You: like he kept saying the n word
You: ok let me try to remember more
You: i think the chorus has him singing like 4 lines and then the background singer repeats them and then he repeats them and then the background singer actually sings her own verse
You: she sounded black too
You: you know what i mean when i say she sounded black?
You: and during her part she kept saying o baby and stuff and wanting the man to buy her things
You: do you know this sonf
DelaineL: Searching yet.
You: do you need more clues?
You: during the chorus and right before it the music changes and this beat comes on like "tap tap tappa DOM DOM tap tap tappa DOMDOMDOMDOM tappa tappa"
DelaineL: Are these results sufficient?
You: no none of these have a black guy and a black girl singing about buying presents for each other
DelaineL: Thats all I can come up with, with the information you provided me.
You: but what about the beats
You: did you search for the beats
DelaineL: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AndrewJ
AndrewJ: Hi, what can I find for you today?
You: Well, I've been hopping from guide to guide, with minimal success (2 good results, though) so maybe you can help me
You: My son is sick and loves cats, so I want to amuse him with photos of cats seemingly defying gravity, and floating
You: Now we're getting somewhere
You: I once had a nightmare like that 2nd photo
AndrewJ: lol, oh really i bet that was scary...
AndrewJ: I'd be terrified if I saw that!
AndrewJ: Are these the type of pics your looking for?
You: I had locked myself in a bathroom, to escape these kittens that were chasing after me in great numbers, and thouught I was safe
AndrewJ: lol, of course, cuz the bathroom is the best place to hide from crazy kittens
You: But then a paw slipped under the door. And then a head. And then they started crawling under the door at me, upside down
AndrewJ: wow, sounds terrifying
You: Their mouths open impossibly wide, emitting black fluid and unnatural croaking noises
You: Yeah, it was pretty damn weird
You: I woke up in my neighbours front yard, covered in blood
You: Apparently I had acted out my self-defense against these cats on THEIR cats
AndrewJ: wow, thats sounds horrible
You: I told them they shouldnt have raised Socks to be an outdoor cat
You: They thought that it had gone off into the woods to die or something, but the jokes on them. I have it, stuffed on my mantle
You: Some day I'm going to ring their doorbell and leave Socks on their porch
AndrewJ: lol, wow thats pretty harsh
AndrewJ: are they horrible neighbors or sumthin?
You: No, but I am
AndrewJ: ah, makes sense
AndrewJ: Do those help or do u need more?
You: These are pretty awesome
You: If I take the duct tape off, I am sure my son will smile (He is mentally challenged, and screams a lot, you see)
You: I don't even know HOW he could have gotten sick, but feel it is my duty to cheer him up
AndrewJ: Well that's always good I don't think you should duct tape his mouth shut though, even if he screams a lot
AndrewJ: You should probably try and find other ways to help keep him quiet
You: Like what
You: Hey, maybe we could search for that!
AndrewJ: we could
-Search result: Raising Children - The Mentally Challenged Child
AndrewJ: Anything else I can help you find tonite?
You: Can you recommend me a good psychiatrist
You: No, wait, what is the best defense against attacking cats
You: In case my dream was prophetic, and it's actually going to happen in real life soon
AndrewJ: I'm looking for it right now
You: Okay, thank you
AndrewJ: I'm sorry, I can not find it
AndrewJ: I think that all you'd have to do is kick the cats and you'll be fine
You: Drat, I guess I'll just have to keep a baseball bat on hand, or something
AndrewJ: yea, keep a bat in the bathroom at all times just to be sure
You: That is good advice, and I shall kep it in mind
You: Well, he has started acting up again, so I must go tend to my sonYou: You have been *very* helpful
AndrewJ: Have a great nite!
AndrewJ: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.
I'm Ray Parker Jr, and it's time I came clean.
It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.