I am a copy editor for a news paper .
Found your porn, now I explain policy.
I peddle softcore to arab youth
I write erotic fantasies for your mom.
Fanged Lawn Wormy
I make the fun parts for museums.
I build gearboxes for windmills. Big ones.
Grape Juice Vampire
I build puppets and puppet accessories.
Liquefy living things through a metal tube.
I keep pilots from killing each other.
Open luggage, take away fruit.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.