My 3-year-old niece on the subject of lions:
My parents told me this happened when I was about 3 or 4.
Description of a monster:
"They say it's as big as four cats! And it's got a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better! And it lights up at night, and it's got four ears - two of them are for listening and the other two are just kind of backup ears. And its claws are as big as cups, and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! And Mrs Doyle was telling me it's got magnets on its tail, so if you're made out of metal it can attach it to you! And instead of a mouth it's got four arses!"
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.