My 3-year-old niece on the subject of lions:
My parents told me this happened when I was about 3 or 4.
Description of a monster:
"They say it's as big as four cats! And it's got a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better! And it lights up at night, and it's got four ears - two of them are for listening and the other two are just kind of backup ears. And its claws are as big as cups, and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! And Mrs Doyle was telling me it's got magnets on its tail, so if you're made out of metal it can attach it to you! And instead of a mouth it's got four arses!"
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
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