My cousin's kid at age 6 or 7 on cats:
There used to be green cats but they turned into plants because they slept too much.
Child - "I want some shoes"
Me - "What kind of shoes?"
Child - "I want some whale shoes"
Me - "Oh, like shoes with whales on them?"
Child - "No, I want shoes like what whales wear"
Nobler Than Lettuce
"I have an Ostrich!"
"Yes. He kicks people. My Ostrich will kick you."
"Yeah. I fly him."
"On a string?"
"Nooooo. I ride him and he flies."
Makes baby look too appetizing. Also I have my thigh stuck in one and I can't get it off. It's so tight around the skin I can't cut it without risking injury. IT'S A LONG STORY AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX.
Starting a company is difficult for anyone - doubly so if you happen to be a monster. Make the most of your unique situation with a clever business name to catch the customer's eye.
The darkest, most controversial game since Luigi's Mansion.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.