My cousin's kid at age 6 or 7 on cats:
There used to be green cats but they turned into plants because they slept too much.
Child - "I want some shoes"
Me - "What kind of shoes?"
Child - "I want some whale shoes"
Me - "Oh, like shoes with whales on them?"
Child - "No, I want shoes like what whales wear"
Nobler Than Lettuce
"I have an Ostrich!"
"Yes. He kicks people. My Ostrich will kick you."
"Yeah. I fly him."
"On a string?"
"Nooooo. I ride him and he flies."
You Won't Believe How Every MRI Technician Will Soon Be Replaced By Nine Dogs! Your Jaw Will Drop!
Don't let anyone tell you that you're a wasteful, careless, selfish individual because of your shower habits.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.