I filled out an application for Starbucks a few weeks ago and it asked what I liked about coffee.
How is that relevant and how do they expect you to answer with a space not large enough for a full sentence? "Gee, I like the way it tastes"? "I can sell it for money"? "I have a cat named Coffee and he's really cute"?
"What is your biggest weakness?"
It got a laugh, I got the internship.
I was interviewing with two managers for two different positions. "If we both want to hire you, and we arm wrestle over who gets you, who do you think would win?" I answered, "Me!" because I wanted either job and that would be a great scenario. I now work for the person who would have totally dominated the arm wrestle.
"If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"
I was still living with my folks, and I was applying at a newspaper some 500 miles away. Yes, I was trying to get away from my shitty hometown.
The interviewer asked me if I'm willing to relocate for the job.
I was asked something along the lines of "What would you do step by step to get out of this room?"
I replied with "I would stand up, put my chair in, open the door and leave". Then the interviewer said the door was locked. I rambled on I cannot remember what I said, but god damn it was a retarded question.
I got the job.
Mary Fucking Poppins
Him: "Describe yourself in two words."
Me: "Innovative and Creative."
Him: "Can you explain what you mean by that?"
Me: "But you said two words..."
When I went to join the Australian Army Reserve local Artillery group, the interviewer asked me "Why do you want to join the Artillery group?". I figured because this guy was a qualified Psychologist and a experienced interviewer that he would spot a lie or made up answer straight away. So I went with honesty and said "Because I want to blow shit up".
He laughed, and I got a offer for a Officer position.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
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