Pawn 17

> Consult NSA files on "The Deceiver" to look for any weaknesses

Insertnamehere31

> Check inventory for birth certificate

cock hero flux

hold on we never checked in the small hut at the very start

> let's go back and do that, and grab some beer on the way

HBar

> "This is torture. I'm going to close this prison."
> Go to small hut
> Never close prison

wilderthanmild

> Ask Joe Biden where it all went wrong.

Atma


malder

> Release the prisoners and command them to join you. Give Bob the bow, his wife the whip. Attach wings to golem. Continue west.

Poland Springs

Also we need to inform the angels they will henceforth be known as Bob and Bob's wife.

Atma


Accretionist

> go as far to the left as possible.

Atma

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.